thatswinnie

Hell

The worst part of knowing is having to cope with it - with the shame, the anxiety, the desperation, the guilt, the anger, the flashbacks, the questions you ask yourself.

And even though you may try to push the memories to the back of your mind, even though you try to act normal, go out with friends, laugh, pretend it didn’t happen, even then the memories come back - every night, every morning, every moment without distraction - sometimes triggered by tiny little things like a word. It haunts you - you can’t hide or run from it. All you can do is try to cope with it.

I am living with the knowledge for nearly four weeks now and I just wanna wake up from this nightmare.